sometimes i can hear my bones straining under the weight of all of the lives i'm not living.

"Is ignorance bliss, I don't know, but it's so painful to think, and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it."

currents pt. IV

Television: The City
(totally lame, i realize this)

Book: Stone Butch Blues

(provides a good perspective most people do not encounter often)

Movie: The Duchess

(total guilty pleasure)

Workout: Comcast's "On Demand" - Exercise Television

(lately lovin' the 6 pack abs workout)

i could detail my past two weeks...

but all i need say is: i have a good, good man. i am very happy.

paper doll glitter queen.

she was a paper doll glitter queen,
with a glamoured life and a yellow sheen.

i matched her up against my limbs,
and found her to be more perfect.

but glitter queen refused to part
with her lofty notions and her die cut heart.

and as my shape with time did change,
her ageless thoughts seemed to others strange.

all of her shine gave off a jealous glare,
now, as her conceptions never showed any wear.

and sometimes mine, too, shone harsh light,
but then i'd shrink and bide my time.

sunny dispositions lived within excess
jaundiced her whilst inside drink and love beds.

and although i tasted, and swooned, and burned--
i moved through quickly taking the lessons i'd learned.

paper doll glitter queen boomed and burst--
a brilliant firework scene even at her worst.

but soon her ash fell in their eyes,
and as a hopeful spark i felt just fine.

this is commitment!

so i have been working out every single day. what? the girl who loves her life of food, sleep, and laziness!? yes. that girl.

i have dance every wednesday, and between that i run/walk/jog 2-5 miles each day. within that i lift weights for upper body workout. hoorah!

i have also given up iced mochas--this is getting unbelievable, i know--as i doubt that they in any way benefit to my figure.

i am motivated, and it feels wonderful.

just thought i would brag a bit, and now i am finished!

drunk history.

if you do anything academic-ish ever, please, for the love of god, watch these videos. here is my favorite one. there are several more. hilarity. i am in love.

movie blitz!

i am on a movie rampage! this weekend was a perfection of laziness!

i watched:


-nick and norah's infinite playlist
(bought it--love the quirk factor and both main actors)

-paris je t'aime
(bought it--i love multiple story lines)

-marie antoinette
(beautiful)

-loving annabelle
(lame)

-love and sex
(have seen it many times before and love it every time)

-moulin rouge
(broke it out VHS style)


i am currently searching for love and other disasters. it is no where to be found. i am determined to find it!

i also plan to watch dr. zhivago when i have enough time to sit down for 3 1/2 hours.

went to coffee with lyds and heather. it was good seeing our other 1/3, and have not seen her in forever. heather is glowing and beautiful. i only can HOPE i look as good as her when i am pregnant. she is glorious. thhhaaattt bitch. ;]

currents pt.III

Movie: Casablanca

Book: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

coming down the world turned over//

i seem to only be posting on fridays. winters get me so lazy. it is stupid.

augustana was a blast. we met up with jared pre-show and we (me, heather, steven, cherise, and mo) went to this bar called blarney's, down the street from the varsity. we went there to avoid the douche crowd at the library, and the cover at the kitty cat klub. it was a chill atmosphere.

talked a lot to jared about travelling relationships, what he is doing with upcoming augustana stuff, etc... he has grown up so very much since the first time i met him with crush taxi. i am extremely impressed by his generosity, kindness, and maturity. yay for people! and i do not say that often.

we later headed over to the varsity and watched the bands. had a good time. left after the show ended.

we did not make it to the triple rock for cherise's birthday.

monday justin called and said that he would be in town for a few hours before he took his flight out again. i went over after work and was let in by security. when i got into his place i tried to shake the poor man awake, to no avail. he had just arrived home from a four date tour that including sleeping on floors and long drives. needless to say, he was not ever fully awake for those few hours, but it was really good seeing him before i had two weeks of not seeing him. boo.

last night heather and i ventured over to the 7th street entry to see oh crap, mo is here (acoustic) and the wannabe hasbeens. it was a good reunion of all of my friends, who i never see anymore because i am such a hermit. friends there were laura, lyds, murph, steven, chris h, derek, melissa, mike minehart, adam, and gloria.

at one point i was talking to justin outside on my phone and murphy comes out and sits (falls) next to me, steals a cigarette, and proceeds to do his infamous lean (whilst sitting). apparently he was kicked out for being too stumbly. poor guy! we left soon after the wannabes played anyway. i had to get up early for work.

this weekend i plan to sleep, watch dr. zhivago, maybe visit amy at work, register heather for baby shhtuff, go see he's just not that into you, and sleep some more.

i lead an exciting life, eh?