The farther away it seems you get.

I really need to see his face soon. The next few days cannot come quickly enough.

Night Windows.

Glancing up at where you lived when you lived here. I see you suddenly alive and nearly smiling. Stop and hold my breath and watch the way you used to be. The full moon makes our faces shine, like over-ironed polyester, then disappears behind the clouds.

Leaves me under empty rows of night windows.

Are we floating nowhere yet?

Last week Justin's family invited me out for dinner. It was a joint birthday celebration for me and Abby (Justin's sister-in-law). What good times. His family spoiled me rotten with gifts, including: a Twins shirt and visor (for when they invite us to the new outdoor stadium with their season tickets), Jamaican coffee (that they got while on their trip there) and a badass thermos (it is my first), a high-tech, crazy watch, and a really nice card.

I am very behind on my 52 books... I need to read 3 to catch up. Still do-able. I WILL do it. I just need to get on my game.

I went to Express yesterday with my mother, who was needing to shop, and I found a lot of super cute tops, skirts, and pants for dress up occasions and future interviews. The BEST part? I am usually barely able to fit into a medium at Express... This time? A small was almost too small for me. WHAT!? I knew I felt skinnier as of late, but after that experience I actually thought of myself as skinny. It has been some time. I know I should not be concerned about weight, but in the past few years I have been losing my metabolism and I definitely do not eat right and do not work out. The only change I have made? Not eating meat. I'm not kidding. My theory is that I now don't gorge myself anymore (because options are limited) and I never go to fast food restaurants (because I can only get a salad). It feels good!!!

I am REALLY looking forward to the Duluth MCS show in two weeks. Several friends are going to be coming, as well as some of Justin's family, I think. I also found out that my old friend Mike Schey (former guitarist for The Format) will be lead guitar this tour for the band fun. I boycotted fun., because it just reminded me of the best times I've had hanging out with The Format dudes a few years ago. Those were the glory days. Ha. And now they are over. But now I can be much less bitter with Schey playing with them. It will be very good to catch up once again. But what a small world, eh?

I don't have much else to say right now.

Stay tuned for this wild noise too:

birthday weekend in pictures:

Friday: Farewell Continental video shoot (wrapped @ 4am). I made it into the very end of the video. It was so trippy and futuristic-retro. I cannot wait for you all to see it. Good chats with friends and made several new friends as well. Turned 25 at midnight. Allie Fox supplied me with a delicious bottle of wine for a present. And I even got a backrub (hurt from standing for so many hours) from Richard Kimble later on that night. Good times.

Saturday: Dinner at Luce downtown with family, Derek (Katie's boyfriend), and Justin. My parents got me a sweet shirt+vest, a salon gift certificate (thank the lord), and a perfume refill (thank the lord). Oh, and they got me a french silk pie "cake," and brought me and Justin a piece for after-dinner consumption. Justin got me two shirts from Japan (I told him NOT to get me anything, since him being home is all the present I need). One was a lacey/expensive looking girly shirt (green and all!) and a long sleeved shirt with english words on it. The best things about japanese clothes and signs is that the phrases never ever make real sense, and it is HILARIOUS. So this shirt says "The flashing girl seeks shifting beauty." Or something like that. Both are perfect. I am so proud of him that he went girl clothes shopping in my favorite country. What a perfect boyfriend.

That night we went to Block E to meet up with Heather and Lydia for Alice in Wonderland. Lydia presented me with some lovely Victoria Secret makeup products (my favorite) and a rad Pisces constellation necklace. Aw! Heather is coming over this week to give me presents. I told them both NOT to, and if I didn't love them so much, I would punch them in the arms. I wasn't a huge fan of the movie. It was pretty, and I loved the characters, but the story line was lacking. Overall, it was great to see my friends on my chosen low-key birthday.

Sunday night: Farewell Continental show at the Beat Coffeehouse. Brittany and I got to sit on the front comfy couches (score!). The band was spectacular. Mike Minehart (took photo below) showed up and gave me a framed photo of MCS from behind, playing the Mall of America Best Buy show. It is really cool, and shows the whole crowd. Love it.All week: Many hangs with Justin. He absolutely *made* my birthday. I am so lucky to have him and to have had him home.

Thanks to everyone for the lovely birthday wishes! You make me feel loved! <3

my life in review.

52 Books in a Year:
Many of my English major friends have recommended this book to me, especially my friend Brian, who I hold in very high regard. I gifted this book to my mother a while back with the intention to read it myself once she was finished. I finally got around to reading it.

This book has a bit of philosophy, a bit of religious concept, a bit of science, a bit of everything in it. My favorite part was about the main character's quest to find his own spirituality. It made me laugh so hard. The author can be very clever, in ways reminding me of Foer's humor.

I preferred the first half of the novel to the second half. The first half accounts the main character's life before his adventure, and gives you some interesting ideas to play around with in your own head. The second half is all adventure/survival/crisis. That part was very good, and kept me reading, but I definitely feel like this novel was separated into these two parts in terms of content and style. I really recommend it. It kept my interest, and I am not an "adventure tale" sort of reader.

Justin bought me this book almost a year ago exactly. I have been reading it on and off since then. I always was interested, just never motivated enough to pick it up consistently. I count it on my list because I finished it yesterday, even though I am aware I am cheating a little by counting it in my 52.

This novel is about the impending Apocalypse and the anti-Christ situation. The three main characters (although the novel is a weaving of different plots and character pairs) are Adam (the anti-Christ boy), Crowley (a demon), and Aziraphale (an angel). You would think from this that the story would be highly preachy or serious, but it is completely the opposite.

I can not tell you how many times I laughed out loud on planes and in my room while reading this. My favorite part was definitely the "Hell's Angels" / Four Horsemen naming situation. These writers were terribly witty and clever (a lot of times I almost missed half of their quips). You have to be on your game to read this one, but it is an enjoyable read.

However, at times the story was too drawn out without a lot of reason. And when the book ended, it ended rather flippantly. I think the authors just had fun writing it and making fun situations and characters, and did not care too much for the plot. It was funny, but I struggle to find an overall purpose for reading the book, as I was not inspired or taught much.

Foer, as it should not be said again if you know me or read this blog, is my favorite author. So when I heard he was writing this book, and when the people closest to me started reading it, I knew I had to follow suit. A few weeks ago I was also starting to feel self concious about eating mean. Isn't that a weird way to describe it? But everyone around me (my boyfriend, my best friend, my co-worker, etc...) were all vegetarians/pescatarians, and I felt like I must be a horrible person to continue to eat meat. So I began researching, and part of my research was reading this book. Needless to say, I am now a pescatarian.

Foer infuses his trademark story-telling into this book, even though it is mainly a research piece. Foer includes many statistics along with his own accounts of investigations into factory farms. This book was extremely hard for me to get through in long sittings, because it made me feel so nauseous, but he does his best to lighten up the book with scattered personal anecdotes. I went into my pro-animal-not-eating-meat-from-factory-farms trial thinking I would still eat chicken and turkey from family farms, but just knowing the process of slaughter and the diseases that are contained in the majority of all birds... I just can not do it. I would still eat eggs from family farms, but not the meat. And as far as eggs, I am not actively avoiding all foods made with eggs, but for now am just avoiding plain ol' eggs. One step at a time.

I will probably never think that eating meat is wrong because you are killing an animal to do so. I am just about treating animals is the most humane way as possible throughout the process of raising and killing them. I also am doing it for health reasons (antibiotics, diseases, hormones). If you are on the fence about eating meat, then this book will shove you onto its side. Overall I think this book is stellar, although Foer is clearly biased (and he does admit this), however some of his logic for not eating meat (morally) is somewhat skewed and manipulative.

Movies Watched and Loved:Wow. I only watched Part II of this movie (the 9/11 conspiracy). This movie made me sick and made me afraid. I am generally a conservative in many of my beliefs. I know that the government, like all governments, can be shady and do things for the wrong reason. I know there are many things that we will never know that happen in the world and in this country. I had heard my friends try and explain the 9/11 conspiracy to me before--but it all seemed ludicrous. Not so ludacris after watching this documentary.

The sheer amount of information, situations, "coincidences," unexplained behavior, and governmental bullshit that is presented through this movie makes it hard to believe 9/11 was anything but a sham, a lie. I never wanted to watch this movie because I didn't want to believe that we were capable of such acts of evil... But after watching this movie my mind was absolutely blown. You can find this movie online, that's how I watched it. Please do. Countries all over the world are starting to show it on their television channels. It is becoming accepted "conspiracy." Educate yourself.
Justin sent me this movie, and I have ALWAYS wanted to see it. It did not disappoint. Robert Downing Jr. is never bad to look at, and he is hilarious. This is a pulp fiction romp. It is all very unbelievable in a believably wonderful way. I loved it.If you want to be depressed for a week, watch this movie. It portrays so many real and painful emotions. Ow.Clooney is a brilliant director. This movie relates to the Zeitgiest movie above, in my mind. The expressions and moods captured are perfect. You can feel the tension in your bones. I loved the black and white, and I loved the simplicity of the story line. I had never heard of this movie until Justin sent it to me. I would never pick it up in a video store, but MAN am I ever glad I saw it. This movie actually transported me into the movie. It was the most bizarre experience I have had while watching a movie. After it ended, I snapped back into the real world. I had lost track of time, my mind was warped, I felt un-human.
Best vampire movie I have ever seen. Lynch made a masterpiece here. It is dark, thoughtful, sad, and very sexy. I wanted to be Nadja (the main character). The story was strange, and very Lynch-esque, but his style fit so well with this movie versus his other films (in my opinion). If you like the whole vampire trend, check out this movie. You may fall in love.
Dear Pierce Brosnan, well done! Hilarious encounters with a hitman. I was captivated the whole way through. You want to hug Brosnan and give him a home.

Pescetarian Progress:

I have not eaten factory farmed meat since my last post (thanks to Sarah's tofu chicken strips and my mother finding Smart Chicken). It has not been hard at all. I feel healthier. I feel thinner. The thinner thing could come from being able to avoid fast food, now that they do not offer delicious veggie options. This is a good thing. Morningstar mushroom lovers burgers, Boca meatless chicken nuggets, cheese pizzas, fish sticks, cucumbers, cheese and crackers, pasta, and salads have been my dear friends. I know I am eating too much cheese, but I love it so much, and I CAN NOT STOP! After reading Eating Animals, I do not think I can even eat family farmed birds. Eesh. But so far, so good. Thanks to everyone for their support and advice!!!

Last Weekend's Doings:

Last weekend I had the pleasure of going out with Sarah and her friends. We went to POVs, Cowboy Slims, and the Drink (in Uptown). I had such a blast with everyone. We sang, we danced, we laughed. It was so good meeting new people and going to new places. Sarah is a gem, and so are her companions. I hope to hang out with her again soon (when I have money to do so). So much love!

i am still painting flowers for you.

Sometimes it takes my breath away, thinking about how my life has turned out. Never ever, as an incredibly awkward teenage girl, did I imagine I would have this life and these experiences at age (almost) twenty-five.

My life is not necessarily more special than the next persons, and I am not claiming that I live a fancy, glamorous, or even terribly exciting life. But sometimes I just cannot fathom the opportunities I have had, the blessings that have come my way, and the adventures I have partaken in.

I am very, very lucky. And when I am an old woman one day, I know I will look back with at least partial satisfaction on my younger years.

I haven't done everything I want to do, not even close to it, but I have tasted thismuch of wonderful. And I am grateful.

In other news: Blog post coming soon. Updates on my 52 books in a year project. Updates on movies I have watched lately. And past week hi-jinxes.

In related news: I am so very excited for Tuesday to roll around. I get to see my lovely, lovely man after weeks of distance. I am counting down the minutes, I swear. I've forgotten what it is like to be near him! What a perfect birthday week. He is the perfect present. I need no others.

arigato, go, go gadget arms.

I walk around with my fingers outstretched in changing fists--digits marking the days.

I'm sure Tokyo is buzzing with lights, and my skin hums along.