mike minehart: rock photographer extraordinare

readygoes @ triple rock

the wannabe hasbeens @ the hexagon

and the moon's laying low in the sky, forcing everything metal to shine.

this weekend i did close to absolutely nothing.

i did visit the hedbergs and precious baby jordyn. amy seemed like she was enduring the little sleep she had gotten the night before, but i could tell taking care of a newborn is hard work. i have much faith in jordyn's parents, however. she could not have a better mom or dad to raise her. she is perfect. here is an extra picture from the waiting room of the hospital while jordyn was being born.

(mo, heather, murphy, gremlin, me, derek, melissa, steven)

i think i agree with mike minehart--thursday is the new friday. on thursday i needed needed needed to get out. i called up the girls and the boys and a bunch of us (heather, lydia, laura, gremlin, murphy, steven and mike) met at the ugly mug (per usual) to hang and have some drinkables. eventually we went to the lone tree (free drinks for ladies until midnight). i was so hungry, though, that i bought a bag of chips from jimmy johns (where they tried to charge me $6 for it) and went home with heather pretty dang early.
this week i have mucho trainings for work. extra hours, i don't hate it. i feel like i got a lot done yesterday, but i feel like my social life is lacking. meh. sometimes i need a good few-week span of nothingness to recoup. we will see if things improve.

It was five o'clock somewhere, but here the sunset was already beginning to let its colors fade out from behind the clouds.

Madeline Roedell steadied her breath, drew up her shoulders, and forgave her consciousness for the screams of revolt that were currently exploding inside of her skull.

She removed a crumpled reciept from her purse, uncapped her eyeliner pencil, and began to scribble a note to her future self.

Madeline was not a wanting girl, she was merely the product of her abandoning surroundings. With little in hand, it is much easier to dream oneself to be deserving of better circumstances.

In the twilight of our past decisions, we can never look back and attempt to drag the sun back into the sky. We must let the light - and the moment - pass underneath our feet, in faith that we will once again feel the warmth of another day.

they say you're like a monday morning; i say you're like a friday night.

a study in life: let me live like this forever.

jordyn rose hedberg

this darling is the most precious thing i have ever lain eyes on. she was born on thursday night, with all of her extended family and her pseudo aunts and uncles (me, heather, mo, derek, murphy, gremlin, melissa, and steven) in the waiting room. i have been around many babies and children, but never have i realized what a miracle they are. jordyn is the perfect result of love between two of my best friends, amy and dan. i have never seen more proud and in love parents. seeing jordyn kicked the maternal instinct in for me. i obviously do not want to have a baby any time soon, but if it happened, i would be so very excited. i cannot wait to get to know her, watch her grow up, hear her speak, etc... she is truly an extraordinary thing. congratulations mommy and daddy hedberg!!!

recovering = laziness.

recap:

1. awkward situations sometimes become okay situations that turn back into slightly awkward situations.
2. it is better to talk things out than to be forever uncomfortable (well, duh).
3. sacre bleu's red wine + concert at the varsity = ridiculous dancing (always).
4. some people should never preform in front of people if they wiggle strangely.
5. coworkers + friends = helping a drunk inexperienced man trying to get some in a bathroom.
6. some people can be surprisingly sweet and responsible when need be.
7. bright eyes is always a "veto" with my guy friends (boo).
8. if you let drunk boys "cook," they will inevitably make hotdog/cookie/every condiment ever concoctions (barf).
9. hotdogs in microwaves are ALWAYS better than your keys in the microwave.
10. rain + sunday = spending all day (literally) in bed watching movies.
11. $12 of mcdonalds in the morning screws you for many days to come.
12. my girlfriends are excellent guard dogs when need be.
13. songs that only contain the lyrics "1,2,3,4!" are the new thing (but make people sitting outside laugh a lot).

i'm the color green, and you should have seen the looks i just received.

i feel like all of the claws are coming out at me from several directions right now, from shadowed places and hidden corners, and for no apparent reason. i get it. i cannot trust many. i cannot count on many. and i sure as hell have to watch out for my own back. thankfully, i have some wonderful friends and associates shining their lights.

the things i could tell you but never will.

people do not change so quickly as one may hope. i have learned and relearned this lesson. how you see people treating others, is often how you are--or will be--treated soon enough. there are rarely special cases.

trust me.

but i send my best wishes, regardless.

i won't let them take you, hell no.

so this weekend was full and complete. i knew that i would have many hangs with many of my friends, i did not know, however, how well everything would go down. needless to say. the weekend was absolutely magnificent.

heather and i drove up to saint cloud for the readygoes show at the red carpet. now, from previous experiences we knew that it was sure to be a raging ridiculous drunk fest. little did i expect how raging i would get. holy cow. we arrived early and waited for other friends to show up. soon enough derek, gremlin, steven and bailey strolled over. brittany and lydia came in minutes after. the readygoes boys were spotted crossing the road and heading backstage.

i caught up with bailey for a few mintes, as we have not spoken in months and months. wished brittany a very happy birthday. ordered some drinkables for myself to store up for the night. said hello to laura as she walked by, also said happy birthday and promised her drinks.

in came the captain morgan girls. oh. no.

these girls paraded around putting stickers on everyone. every girl had to find their male counterpart number and go to the treasure chest to get a prize. now. i love captain. i was in trouble. not only was there a very nice drink special on captain coke, but there was a photobooth, spray on tattoos, and craziness ensuing. bailey found my match man, took a picture, and i received some kanye west style glasses. usually i think anybody wearing these on a normal day are complete tools, but since EVERYONE had them by the end of the night, we all sort of made them the "cool thing." even shackle was wearing them onstage at the show.

here is when it gets fuzzy.

i do remember me and lydia making up at the bar. i really appreciated her approaching me. i know that i can be stubborn and bitchy when i am upset. i also know, though, that there are other sides to things. and as prideful as i am, i am always willing to forgive if people show effort or understand my side of things. all i need is the other party listening to me, understanding my perspective of things, and i can be okay. i will always try to see other people's perspectives, and i will always make amends (if possible) if those actions are taken. right or wrong, it is how i operate, and i was very relieved to have talked things out a bit with lyds. i hate drama and the heavy weight of having "enemies," regardless if i do not always do the best things to prevent the two. anyway. that was that.

so, after that i remember VERY little. everything moves like shades in my memory. i remember watching the guys on stage, but i do not remember the songs they played or what i was doing (apparently i was dancing and bumping into my girls a lot, sorry!). i remember george letting me play his bass during one song. i remember grabbing mo's shoulder while he played. i remember trying to grab shackle while he was singing into the crowd. yikes. heather thinks i was drugged. ha. i did not drink THAT much, but i always remember what happens even when i do drink a lot. weird. i know i barged into the backstage greenroom a million times and bugged the guys. i know i took a million pictures with everyone (where i am in the same pose over and over). i remember talking to some people and scolding others. i remember falling once. i have the scrapes to prove that. i remember being carried around (not because i was drunk, but because derek was bringing me back to heather: "is this yours?"). i remember standing outside of the show when everything was done for about an hour, when everyone would not decide on what to do. i just wanted to sleep. some of the girls went to perkins. i eventually just went to my car, grabbed the pillows, and started walking toward the cheap hotel (even though i had no idea of where it was). luckily, that kicked started everyone into motion. readygoes and brittany followed me. i bought a two bed hotel room, where upon the desk clerk asked me if i was "drunk or high?" i looked at her with a fury of a thousand annoyed suns and said "no. i am tired." it was 3:30 AM. c'mon. so we trudged up to the room. i let heather and lyds know where we were, and they arrived later. shackle crashed my the door, patrick in front of the tv, brittany in the corner, tyler on the floor, mo in the tub (for tub's sake), george sprawled out sideways on one bed (what a bed hog), and me, heather, and lydia in the bed.
in the morning readygoes minus mo went home, but shackle left me some money on the bed stand (i sort of felt like a prostitute haha). so all of us woke and departed. heather and mo rode with me because we were going to head over to murphy's parent's bbq which started at noon. good lord. on the way home heather and mo filled me in on my night. i dropped heather off, and mo and i rode up to murphy's. what a good day. i was really tired and hung from the night before, but hanging out all day on murphy's porch with dan, amy, glo, murphy and mo was the best sunday a girl could have. we just drank margs, smoked, and laughed laughed laughed all day. later on we all watched a movie (that i will not name on here because it was bootlegged and i do not want murphy to get in trouble haha).

i am SO excited for amy to have her baby (probably this week?). her and dan will make the cutest, most bad ass human being on the planet. i am awaiting the midnight text to go to the hospital. haha. yayayay!

now my voice is gone. i am coughing from allergies/sleep deprivation/cigarette surplus. but i am very happy.

wednesday is another readygoes show, friday is ari herstand's cd release party at the varsity with this world fair. that show will be interesting, to say the least.

that is all for now. must nap a bit.

they don't call me "vicious" for nothing.

lately i have had to pull out the "heinous bitch" card. now, there is no pride or glory in this. i do, however, feel it necessary to do so for these certain situations. i am protective, and i am territorial with those i love. i am like some ravenous flamingo protecting her flock. my friends mean the world to me. i do what i must.

in other news, i did not get to watch mccain's speech. i wished i would have, but i went to the show instead. bad call on my part. we ended up leaving the show without even watching the bands we wanted to, because douchers ruin everything. vague. i am aware. i did get to have some wicked hangs with the crew a few blocks down, though, so it was worth it for that. all in attendance: me, dagger, amy, dan, gremlin (with new hair and full suit), derek (with tie), mo (with scarf and new wicked hair), steven, minehart, gabers, gabers friends, brittany, zack, and laura. zack rolled up on his segway (spelling?) promoting some samples of oxygen spray. that boy is a complete gem. i adore him to the nth degree, man. he gave me lessons on how to ride his segway, and it was surprisingly easy. pretty rad. overall, not a bad night.

back to mccain and politics (although i am sure you are sick of hearing about it all). thus far i am not really pumped about mccain or obama. mccain has a lot of experience, and has put his heart and soul into this country. i admire that. i think we need someone who has actually SERVED, instead of people who sit behind desks. obama is a bit too hyped for me. i think he is a gifted man, but the frenzy overshadows, and therefore i do not feel as though he could ever live up to the hopes people have. he is also very young. and although he is black, he is extremely rich, and therefore is not necessarily a "common man," like many are making him out to be. he has lived a better life than most white people have. not that that is an issue, and i think it is wonderful that we can finally have people who are not the typical white, rich men running for president, but he is not that much different than any other candidate in the way of upbringing, etc... did that make sense? as for the vice president candidates. i like that obama picked biden, who is older and is catholic. he will pull in a lot of conservative/independent voters with his choice. i do not know enough about biden to make any further comments, but he seems like a good counterpart. as for palin, i really like her. my co-worker is from alaska and raves about how much palin gave back to the state. as for her not having a lot of experience, i think that is irrelevant. i do think she has enough experience, BUT there was never supposed to be anyone making a career out of politics. in the early years of our country, politicians were chosen from their communities. these people would be everyday farmers, etc... they would serve their term for the people and get out of politics. that is how it SHOULD be. politicians, on both sides, have turned elections into celebrity contests. they are the elite and they are the privileged. they are not the "every man." and they have many self-interests which serve purposes outside of the "every man's" interests. right? on both sides completely. anyway. palin is pretty close to being an "every man." i like that about her. i think she would serve our country without many self-interests. i like that she is young (in contrast to mccain's very old). i would be a bit worried if mccain died and she ran our country. but for v.p., i dig her a lot.

anyway. that's my rambles for the day.

off to sleep sleep sleep.

zzzzzz.

man oh man. i am a tired lindsay vicious. from staying up to watch sarah palin's speech and get the RATM updates from my friends to working at 6:15 AM. bleh.

no one died. that is exciting.

i am off to nap so that i can survive tonight's show at the 7th street entry. six bands playing from 9:00 PM to 4:00 AM. $6. some of the great bands playing: solid gold (the band i am personally going for), mel gibson and the pants (great hip-hoppish group, have seen them before), and build better bombs.

heather dagger, gabbers, maybe minehart, and who knows what others will be there. it will be spectacular. let's do this!

uh.

sarah palin actually is impressing me. she is funny, on point, and pretty vibrant. i definitely am digging on her.

no patience today.

to sum it all up:

1. two empty fortune cookies makes me quite concerned.
2. downtown + free drinks = unexplained happenings and outrageous scenes.
3. no go to jack's mannequin. no more talk of any of that anymore. no more talk of a lot of things.
   
4. hard days, sad days, down days (here and there).
   
5. (in consequence) a lot of sappy movies to make me cry it out.
6. great nights, wonderful nights, even better friends.
7. (in consequence) a lot of headaches and sleep time.
8. still unsure about presidential candidates. neither impress me. neither revolt me.
9. new job is good but stressful. having to throw myself into new duties (succeeding).
10. very eventful week ahead. quite excited for some of the shows/get togethers in store.
11. i am very grateful for my friends. they have loved and supported me so much.
12. i am very grateful for a family who guides me in the right direction when i ask for it.
13. i hope no one dies downtown tonight in result of the RNC being held and rage against the machine playing on the same night. my friends can be antagonizing. oh lord. they probably will die.
14. will apparently be cleaning up human limbs off of streets tomorrow.
    

I'll be the first to leave.

They say the last heat of the summer is upon us - that the last humid night is here. It startles me, as I have not even seemed to witness the season begin. This one has passed quietly, as the last one felt to last months into the frigid winter.

I feel a year older, but I also feel much more lost. There are less people around than before, but I am better loved. I forget if I needed silence then, but I crave it now. I know I feel the wrongs of people more now, but I also love those people despite and for those faults more dearly. I held on more then - a foolish hold. Now I am learning to let go - wisely. I laugh more, I love more, and I worry more - but I trust less, I dream less, and I remember less. I have less hope in the future than I did, but I still have faith in it. And I wait more.

I wait for a magnificent action. I wait for those words to come. I wait for the time where I will begin to forget. Any of those three would make breathing easier. Easier, however, is not a word we use to describe our growing years.

I want to stretch out all of my moments in life like a wheel of film, examining all of the corners to find the things I have overlooked. I want to paste bits of memories up like wallpaper in my room. I want to lie underneath fireworks forever and pretend it was like this.

This year was a strange time for children like us. And although a part of me imagines having jumped off of the landscape of Silverlake in those few weeks in the beginning, a part of me wishes I had stayed perched on top of it - waiting for years.