daily tarot card accuracy.

The Ten of Wands card suggests that my power today lies in conscience. "He ain't heavy, he's my brother." I own responsibility for the baggage I have chosen to carry but I am ready to lay the weight of a burden or secret I have been hiding behind where it belongs in order to reconcile my conscience. Do I want to be right or alone? I am empowered by blind faith in fulfilling my purpose or greater good to "just do it," and I transform through passion or direction in principle.

snails see the benefits, the beauty in every inch.

I have recently realized something. Amazing, I know. But it goes along with my previous post about life not having to go a certain way--the "expected" way.

Sometimes when we meet people in certain circumstances, we believe that those circumstances dictate how we are to file people into our lives. For instance, you shouldn't be friends with your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend who (because of the circumstances) you may have initially resented or even despised. Or you should never date a guy who was first interested in your friend.

These circumstances are never easy, and they are never without a certain amount of mess--but if handled in the right way, who is to say that you can not look past these happenstances and redefine these people in your life?

Life does not plan things out for you. It is not intentional. It does not say to itself "Okay, I am going to have Lindsay meet this person in (insert less-than-ideal circumstance), because I know that she should never get to know this person better--this person is not for her."

Sometimes life happens, for better or worse, and sometimes the people it happens to are actually quality human beings--who could potentially make your life better. That ex-girlfriend could end up to be a future great friend. That friend's dating interest could end up being the love of your life.

You never know unless you take the risk, handle it correctly, and find out for yourself.

Life is too short, and I make my own destiny.

revolution!!!

i deleted so many friends on facebook tonight, and i pretty much closed my myspace. realized i didn't talk to half of my list, and didn't want to talk to a forth of the other half in the first place.

at this point in my life, i don't need the extra baggage of people. sound mean? perhaps it is, but it is also going to save me a lot of time (not stalking people), stress (seeing things that upset me), and negative energy (reacting to mean people).

i suggest it. so far me, daniel, and heather are on the revolution train. anyone else???

Only the oleanders thrived, their delicate poisonous blooms, their dagger green leaves.

Don't attach yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention because you're lonely. Loneliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space. The best thing you can do it know yourself... Know what you want.

human.

drive me crazy.

friday i was lucky enough to be able to hang out with both of my best girlfriends, heather dagger and lydia slayer. all three of us were stressed in different ways--and it was good to get out, vent, and relax.

saturday i went down to flowers studio to watch the MCS dudes record some "extra material" songs with ed. i absolutely love seeing the band dynamics and how everyone interacts. it was also hilarious when the guys asked me, "does justin do 'x, y, and z' to you too?" and then continue on to hear them mention the little quirks and things he does. i was laughing so hard. they have him pinpointed, and it was awesomely hysterical. i was able to see justin record some vocals (seeing my man at work! yeehaw!) and otherwise mainly watched jesse play "plants vs. zombies" (or something to that effect).

after the studio, justin and i went to the hexagon to see ed's wife play a show that ed was playing bass for. josh and jill also joined us. we mainly stayed outside talking the whole night until it was time for the show. good people. love it.

sunday i did nothing.

this week and next week will be busy hell. i am already overwhelmed. i think it is mainly in my head, as i seem to be overly sensitive this week.

i need an escape... and soon.

when i was four, i was mean.

the chords we play, ways left to communicate.

i can not solve everyone's problems. i cannot shake everyone and say, "this is how! this is how!" it is past me. i cannot straighten their shirts, hand them a paper bag lunch, drive them to school, and lay out their clothes for the next day.

i can listen. i can offer words of support and encouragement. but i can only do these things with knowledge that they are needed.

we all have our own problems--our own struggles. if we need something, sometimes we have to ask. often, others are dealing with their own internal and external dilemmas and do not have the ability to notice the thought bubbles you produce.

this may seem obvious, and you may think me an idiot to explain it, but you cannot then get angry at me when i do not notice them as well.

upcoming shows:

sept 24: the honorary title @ triple rock (debating)
sept 26: the weakerthans @ triple rock (ticket bought)
sept 27: the museum of knives and fire @ fineline (debating)
oct 24: jenny owen youngs @ triple rock (need to buy ticket)
oct 28: say hi @ turf club (need to buy ticket)

any others in the minneapolis area i should go to?

what are you doing?

lasers and pterodactyls.

weekend recap:

• coffee with my lydia.
• all weekend hangs with the boyfriend.
• birthday dinner for mr. dan (with becca and stacy). dan ended up relatively intoxed. hilarious. he is surprisingly articulate when in that state. had many laughs. justin and tommy showed up after a low concert they attended. dan--who was the first one to ever quote me MCS lyrics--got a kick out of meeting justin, i think. and they took some wacky pictures to show his highschool students.
• after birthday dinner, tommy picked up brittany (thank god for female company sometimes) and we all went to tommy's friend's house. there were many funny stories about alter-egos named "vanessa" and playground catastrophes. oh yeah, and apparently tommy likes to shop for produce out of his friend's yards. all four of us left the shindig with free tees (see below). not a bad night. p.s. walgreens knows how much fun you had.
• that night justin played video games for six hours, while i tried to read and eventually fell asleep in his bed. he went to bed at 7:30am. what a crazy man. i like that about him.
• in the morning we watched the princess bride (for the first time for him), and i proceeded to watch him play another round of fallout 3 for four some hours. it was better than it sounds. lazy sundays are my favorite.
• tonight he guest starred at nels' improv comedy show. i was super bummed i didn't go, but i have to work tomorrow. boo. i am proud of him for doing so many radical things in life.
  
• note: heather is not dead. i was starting to become concerned that my best friend had actually moved to morocco. this is not the case. i hope to see her and her little man soon.
• this week MCS is in minnesota, and i hope to be able to stop in a steal and peak at what they are doing. if only all their girls could be here too! i'm sure i will see them sometime soon during tours, etc... this coming year.
  

we're dropping out into the so unknown.

lately i have been considering more and more how preposterous most of our ideas of "normalcy" do not match up to reality.

i have finally begun to settle into the belief that our lives definitely do not need to hit certain expected benchmarks.

for instance, i do not believe that anyone has to find "what they want to do for the rest of their lives" career-wise. personally, if i enjoy my job, find value in it, and pay my bills, then i am happy.

also comes to mind the subject of romance. who says that you need to be married. when did that become proof of how much you love someone? i am not at all against marriage. i think it is a beautiful and sacred thing. one day i would consider the possibility. but marriage is not an instant stability inducer. in fact, i think it is much harder once you become married (especially in this day and age). it is an institution for some, and not one for others. i think that if you are taking a relationship day by day, and you are happy, then that should be enough.

it is all about being happy in the moment. it is great to have long term goals, but who really knows how anything will turn out--or how long we will even be around to see those goals come to fruition.

who set the rules to how we should see ourselves and our future? who deemed certain lifestyles acceptable and other lifestyles unsavory?

i place blame partly on the cinema and partly on our fears.

i realize that some people's "cheese" in life could be finding their ideal career or getting married. If this is the case, and those things make you happy, then absolutely do them.

i, however, simply want to enjoy my days when they come and while i have them.

and i think we are all doing just fine.

possibility girl.

can we have this always?

my boyfriend is nuts.

review in 5 seconds.

thursday: inglorious basterds with justin (my review: 4 out of 5 stars).

friday: slept 15 hours.

saturday: moped.

sunday: shopping spree at target (included: new purse, leather vest, ballerina skirt/jumper, two black shirts, long necklace, socks, plaid skirt, lace leggings, the new taking back sunday cd).

cleaned my life up.

went to dinner with justin at figlios. delicious. shane and molly nelson met us for dessert.

monday-friday: started transition week at work. one whole week of setup for this coming school year. was crazy busy, but got so much done.

wednesday: tommy's birthday celebration at sushi tango in uptown. i only wish to have half as many friends as tommy. he is clearly loved. got there when justin and kari got there (from practice). we ordered. more showed up. started pushing tons of tables together. by the end of the night, i could barely make out the shirt color of the person sitting on the other end of the table. whoa. highlights: talk with kari, meeting brittany and her friend, justin's diet coke rebelness, catching up with pat brown, catching up with the old spirit of '76 dudes, worrying tommy would fall off the patio, the ibag, demon stories, debating between blogspot or tumblr, jim's rants.

thursday: slept 12 hours.

friday (tonight): farewell continental at the uptown bar. free show. 10pm. 21+. cannot wait. people going so far: me, lydia, heather, laura, brittany. any other takers?

life happens while you're not blogging.

when things slow down, i'll have motivation.
i swear it.
don't forget about me just yet.