the best parts of lonely.

lately my life has been good but somewhat uneventful.

i have had to ditch out on a few concerts with the girls because i have had so much to and no extra energy to do anything else. i feel bad about not partaking, but it is in my better interest to rest up and make sure i graduate in may.

speaking of may, 202 plans to throw a party for us girls who are graduating. should be good times.

this weekend is a show on friday with lyds and heather. the effects show is on saturday (a band that us 50 people became very close with at sxsw), and white light riot is also playing with my boys the spill canvas the same night. maybe there is a way to catch the effects, and then hang out with the spill boys afterward. i ditched nick last time he was in town, so i need to see him this time. speaking of tsc, jen hung out with them in LA and said 'hi' for me. aw. her and i have good times with her tolerating my craziness at shows.

i am also hanging out with this guy zac on sunday. we are going to have cocktails and talk, i think. should be good. of course he is a gemini. but him and i already worked through that issue, haha.

i also am so in love with my internship. i didn't go for a month after sxsw. i just had far too much on my plate. but going back was like i had never missed. annamarie and i talked for an hour about funny stories and how she knows the honorary title, etc... i just love that place. i will be sad if and when i have to depart. i still want to be a part of everything that i going on there.

that's about it.

ciao, babies!

you don't love me; you can't love what i dont show.

so i stayed up all night writing a ten-page paper which was due this morning. luckily, i did get it finished. don't i always. brian and i would call each other periodically to update the status of our progress and coach each other through writing. we have done this since freshman year. we are pretty much rockstars at procrastination. i have been talking to him almost every day, and i am grateful to have such a good guy friend to share anxieties with. no matter the time in between talking, we always reconnect as if we never stopped talking. i am going to write a book full of little motivational phrases for him, like, "it's okay, in the morning you will feel like all of this hell was worth it."

i forgot to mention that on thursday of last week mr. pierre and i had some hang time. i admit i was a bit tipsy and attempted to push him over in his chair, but after twenty minutes of snarkiness on my part we were back on track. we ended up going to uptown to see the movie "in brouge" (i believe that's how it's spelt?). i really recommend it. It is about two hit men who talk about life and their concerns while hiding out in belgium. you end up loving both of the hit men in the end. it had its emotional part, its emotional parts, and very gruesome parts. there is a "splat" scene, which could be the most grotesque part in a film i have ever seen. side note: justin (in quintessential justin form) bought some little cheeses to eat during the movie. popcorn? who does popcorn anymore... obviously not him. it was interesting to see him after so long, and no one got hurt. so overall i suppose it wasn't bad. haha.

easter went well. i adore my family. adore. i have been blessed with an accepting and witty group of extended relatives. i have never once dreaded a family get-together. both sides of my family get along so well and have always offered so much love and support to me. my mother--er--the easter bunny gave me and my sister easter basket, per usual. chocolate never hurt anyone.

for my family birthday dinner, my family and i went to tanner's. delicious. i saw tasha, whom i hadn't seen since she moved to D.C., but apparently she is back in minnesota now. love that girl.

well the rest of the week is going to be exciting. i am absolutely stoked. tonight is the weaver at the loom & this world fair show at the varsity. ck told me a surprise that is happening there tonight, and it is AMAZING. everyone needs to go so that they can benefit from this surprise. it alone makes me excited to go tonight. saturday is the white light riot show at the fineline, and sunday is the honorary title show at the fineline as well. apparently i will be living at the fineline this weekend. so come on over, hang out, and if you cannot find me, i may be sleeping underneath the bar. so many shows. just what i need. and so many great people to hang out with in the meantime. tonight i get to see all of the 50records people that i have missed so much since my return from sxsw. i also get to hang with my girls heath and lyds. and sara k. will be at the show as well (who i will insist that twf use for a promo shoot). saturday will include a lot of the same people, and sunday will include the girls and someone who i have not seen in about six months. i cannot cannot cannot wait to catch up.

i will leave you with this closing thought (as i attempt to not hot-poker my eyes out):

i do not know how to perfectly walk a tightrope, but you don't see me joining the circus. therefore, do not be surprised if i am completely disgusted with you as you flail around above me.

confused? i hope so.

this is our decision, to live fast and die young.

school is so meaningless to me right now. after sxsw and all of the opportunities it already has provided me with, and all of the opportunities that working for a place like 50records has given me, i just want to live life on the road. i want to jump on a tour for one of the hundreds of bands i know and work merch. i want to surround myself with the music industry. i know its a shady business. i know it is not glamorous. but i was cut out for this. i can go five days (maybe more) without showering. i can be extremely busy and rushed all day long. i work best under pressure. i long to travel as much as i possibly can. i starve for adventure. i starve for new people. connections. networking. i want to live for music (and stop living for the musicians). i want to be apart of it. i already am... but i want more. more. more.

i am weighing my options.
and a decision will be made soon.

on another note...
i am applying for big brother.
who wouldnt give me 500,000 dollars?

if i won that, or even got a few thousand dollars. i would pay of my debt and be gone from this place. nothing would stop me. but of course i would need my heather and lydia. and of course frequents from my sissy and family.

but in reality. fuck yeah, i could live like this.

my brain hurts

looking at a computer screens is what i do!
but it makes my brain mushy. :]

for the 50records showcase at sxsw, 50records has teamed up with zude.com!

check out my rad new profile.

that is what i spent my day on.
it is not even close to done.
but i tried to figure out a lot of it.

<3

new starts.

i figured i would start a blog that would serve for a rambling board for my days.

a boring log of hours. ;]

my latest excitement is the upcoming sxsw festival. i am going down to austin in an RV full of 50records interns. should be a riot!





lately i have been trying to establish and re-establish my contact base, so that i can see some new and old friends while i am down there. i already feel overwhelmed just looking at the massive list of bands that plan to play down there.

50records party is on march 14th. i will post details later on. it should be amazing. i am mostly excited to see my atlanta boys elevation. I need some southern gentlemen in my life. midwest men are just not cutting it, do not fool yourself.

otherwise i pass my days with erratic napping and classes. days blend together. homework barely gets done. i know i could be accomplishing more in my life (like finding a job once i graduate in may). but i have never been the type to get things done before necessary.

meh.

all things work out.

this past weekend i roadtripped to st. cloud with heather, lydia, and dave to see this world fair. i missed those boys. sometimes i get nostalgic about years ago when we all would spend summer nights drinking and listening to records in kalgren's basement.

another excitement is going to pachyderm studio on the 23rd of this month. we are going to go hang out with ari herstand and crew for the middle of their recording session celebration, as kalgren produces the album. god i love that studio. it has a truly 70's vibe to it. what a time warp trip. no kidding. bands like nirvana, howie day, live, etc . . . have recorded there. and apparently it is haunted to the max.

i hope i see a ghost while there though. dont you think that seeing a ghost would totally confirm that there is an afterlife? proof of some higher being? higher power? possibly.

that is all for the night.
sleep i go.
<3