these lines from foer's book extremely loud and incredibly close have been haunting me:
"Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living."
"I want an infinitely blank book and the rest of time ... why didn't I learn to treat everything like it was the last time, my greatest regret is how much I believed in the future."
"And the joys I've felt have not always been joyous. I could have lived differently. When I was your age, my grandfather bought me a ruby bracelet. It as too big for me an would slide up and down my arm. It was almost a necklace. He later told me that he had asked the jeweler make that way. Its size was supposed to be a symbol of his love. More rubies, more love. But I could not wear it comfortably. I could not wear it at all. So here is the point of everything I have been trying to say. IF I were to give a bracelet to you, now, I would measure your wrist twice."
"I wish I were a poet. I've never confessed that to anyone, and I'm confessing it to you, because you've given me reason to feel that I can trust you. I've spent my life observing the universe, mostly in my mind's eye. It's been a tremendously rewarding life, a wonderful life. I've been able to explore the origins of time and space with some of the great living thinkers. But I wish I were a poet. Albert Einstein, a hero of mine, once wrote, 'Our situation is the following. We are standing in front of a closed box which we cannot open.' I'm sure I don't have to tell you that the vast majority of the universe is composed of dark matter. The fragile balance depends on things we'll never be able to see, hear, smell, taste, or touch. Life itself depends on them. What's real? What isn't real? Maybe those aren't the right questions to be asking. What does life depend on? I wish I had made things for life to depend on."
i suppose i could already look at my life, at the ripe age of twenty-four, and think, "i could have done that instead." but i think it is more complicated than that."I regret that it takes a life to learn how to live."
lives are comprised of decisions and consequences, perhaps.
i went to college to build a better life for myself (satisfied) -> i took out loans to enjoy my time while in college, to travel, and in doing so have made some of the most beautiful and exotic memories for myself (thrilled) -> upon graduating i have debt (bummer) -> restricts my spending habits and lofty dreams of jumping on the road with a band or sitting around writing all day (bummer) -> remaining with a wonderful company that has security and rewards beyond what most jobs provide (quite happy) -> promoted because of my college degree (thrilled) -> cannot quite make the time for myself to write (bummer).
it's hard to say what determines if someone is living life to their fullest. maybe the grass is always greener. maybe even the most successful, adventurous people in the world feel the same way. in fact, i am sure that all of them have their moments of doubt.
i cannot say i live the majority of my life in doubt, in fact, i have very little of it. sometimes, however, i can only hope that my life does not stray onto the mediocre path. it is my greatest fear.
how do you prevent this?
how do you keep all of the life, all of the passion, inside of you?
do you have to be famous--the world knowing you?
do you have to change the world somehow?
is it enough to live a quiet life with good people and good intentions?
what makes a life well lived?
what do you think?
all comments from all persons (known or anonymous) are welcomed.
4 comments:
I think it's a law that all people in their 20's get a harsh lesson in consequence. Ugh. You know what worked for me? Realizing that life is all about change? I went to college for journalism/broadcasting - worked in the field for four years and realized I hated my life. The thought of leaving what I had worked so hard for, but it was the best decision ever. I don't view that time as a waste, but it still has an impact on the life I lead today, as I'm still paranoid about being fired or laid off, I have bad insomnia and stress issues, but I'm dealing with it now as opposed to just working through it.
As long as you understand the nature of consequence, you'll get yourself out of any funk.
hm. i think i know what you are talking about. and i think there is time to always go back to that field when it suits you--if it suits you, right? i want to be a writer/editor, but who says that i won't be even more successful at it in a few years when i have gained more experience and life lessons.
we do what we need to do. even if it isn't what we THOUGHT what we wanted to do, to make our lives manageable and therefore happier. we aren't sell outs, we are making it the best way we can.
hm. things to think on. thank you for your insight!
I would lay out some answers to the important questions you asked, but I ask myself the same things everyday.
That quote about having too much hope in the future...chills. I feel like I'm living my life on that right now. On the hope that the next phase in my life is what I'm waiting for.
The fact is, why am I constantly waiting to live my life.
Maybe I'll figure it out, maybe I wont, but at least I am asking myself these questions.
I think we should be truly afraid when don't. Good post.
ugh... i totally agree. i feel like i am always thinking, "well in a week i will [insert something interesting]." eventually we will run out of "eventually"s.
have you read extremely loud and incredibly close? i think you should. the whole book will make you want to do something with life.
and yes. asking the questions is a huge part of it. there are so many people who do not even consider these things, and therefore can never make changes.
thanks for the response, darlin.
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